A New Springtime

90% Not Allowed to Live

It has been quite tiring lately, Baby Malcolm likes to nurse and he likes to do it frequently. He also likes to be close to mom and knows when he is not, he pops up immediately. My own fault because I always want to be next to him, too.

 
He is just so darn cute and cuddly and I couldn't imagine not having him in my life. The sad part about his condition ( Down Syndrome) is that 90% of children who are diagnosed during pregnancy with DS are aborted.

 
These sweet precious children are not even given the chance to take their first breath.  Who is responsible for making mothers of children with  DS feel their  children are disposable and not worthy of being loved ? Is it the Ob/Gyns, the genetic counselors? I do not know because I chose to wait and see until my son was born. I'm glad it turned out that way because my heart fell deeper in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him.

 
Women are encouraged these days to be doctors, lawyers, astronauts, etc. , but we are counseled against our own feminine natures against being  protectors and nurturers of our own babies. Women are not by nature ones who have the mentality of, " survival  of the fittest"  and  it  is up to us stop this " culture of death".

 
Any job we take on in life is going to have its challenges, its ups and its downs and sometimes life can be frightening. Each child whether disabled or not can have health problems, learning problems, or die of some kind of illness. I think taking each day one at a time can solve a multitude of problems.

 

 
Remembering that we are all made in God's image and likeness is the focus that is needed to stop such an atrocity as abortion. How could society be so advanced and so barbaric at the same time. "Let the children come to me",Jesus said. I can't even  imagine being without Malcolm and yet 90% of women have been cheated out of their precious lil' ones.

Sometimes my mind gets in the way of my spirit and I start to worry about all these things that haven't even happened yet but then  I pray and ask God to help me reign in  my  imagination. I ask Him to help me live in the moment and not to be afraid and He pours out His love upon me and allows me to love as he does without condition. Without Him none of this would be possible.  I am so thankful for His protection and for Malcolm's, he is part of the 10% who was allowed to live.

 

Ups and Down's( Down's Syndrome +)

Malcolm arrived at 8:02 a.m. by Cesarean section.

 
 

I was a nervous wreck and my blood pressure was up, it was 190/ 114.  After the spinal it came down quite a bit. The surgery went great and baby boy came into the world!

 
He weighed 6lbs. 2oz. ,not bad for 39 weeks gestation.

 
I was so thrilled when I finally got to see him. DH brought him over and we all took our first picture together.

 
The next day the kiddos came to see their precious new brother. The love they showered on him was incredible to witness.

 
I just love these moments, "family love"!

 
DH and I had some great bonding time in the hospital and Malcolm had his daddy bonding moments, too.

While we were  recouping in our room and I was nursing lil' guy I noticed he was having a lot of trouble latching on. I also noticed his eyes were a bit squinty. I began to question whether or not he may have Down's Syndrome. I mentioned it to the hospital pediatrician and he said they would run a test but we couldn't get the results until Monday.
DH thought he definitely had some of the characteristics, and for me it was a bit harder to tell, after all quite a few of our other children have had squinty eyes.

When Monday finally came we talked to another hospital pediatrician who was not afraid to talk to us about our precious special boy. He told us that he did suspect that he has Down's and that he saw certain signs of it also.  He noticed low muscle tone, trouble nursing, and the Simeon Crease on his hands (only has one line instead of two). He also did an EKG on his heart and it came back normal. 

Our results were still not in but it was time to check out. We would have to call our pediatrician when we got home. At about 2:30 p.m., I decided to give her a call and she gave us the results. They were positive. Little Malcolm has Down's. I began to cry and didn't even know why. I have an overwhelming love and attachment to this lil' guy and I see no difference in him than any one of my  other children. I guess it was just an emotional moment of adjustment.

 
Baby sister and I and the rest of the gang have been in our glory loving him and being loved by him. Eliana just can't get enough of cuddlin' up with him.

About 10 years ago, I would of been devastated by such news because I thought I had to live in a perfect world. I did not know God and how to trust in His will.There are many ups and downs in life and with this new diagnosis we (our family) feel very privaleged to be embarking on a new journey, a new path in our lives. We know this is going to be a great opportunity to learn so many knew things.

Thanks for all of your prayers for the surgery, all went great and I am recovering quite nicely.

Miracle Bubbles

                                        

 God has given me a great grace this afternoon, it is to be able to focus on the playfulness of my children and His love for me. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in the working and the everyday nitty gritty , I forget to take time out to sit back and enjoy my blessings. 

  

I have been stressing due to the pregnancy/upcoming delivery, constant cleaning, etc.I am definitely the Martha, Martha in the bible. It felt so good to just sit outside and bask in God's love that he showered on me through my children and their fun activity.
 
 

 I just got myself out of the way (through everyones prayers) and got lost in the sweetness of the moment. This lil'face takes me to the throne of God and allows me to be in His presence. Sometimes I find it difficult to give myself a break because I don't work outside of the home. I really need to let that go!
 
I need to rejoice  and trust in my vocation without  always thinking I have to prove myself.  I just love seeing my childern explore the wonders of simplicity and become dazzled by something so insigificant as bubbles. I must of spent a couple of hours just enjoying them.

 
 I am going to hold on to this bubble blowin' afternoon tomorrow when I go to the hospital  for my c -section because it is proof that God is with me and he knows my exact needs at the exact time. I find peace and comfort knowing He has everything covered. Every birth experience I always see God conducting an orchestra and over-seeing every aspect of it, gently waiving His baton and  every instrument plays perfectly in sinc.

I am so thankful for this day and I have been blessed with this miracle of bubbles, who would of thought such and ordinary day could turn out to be so extordinary! Thanks to everyone who is praying your prayers are being answered. God bless all of you.

 

 

Totally Hormonal

 

I feel like a car shifting gears. I can always tell when I am having a hormonal shift. I had two teeth pulled this week so at first I thought my moodiness was due to the stress from that. Although, I am sure that helped set some of the tone, I have been a complete ball of tension this week.

 

 Last night, was the hormonal culmination, the tears, the night sweats, the nightmares, and the tossing and turning. Oh, what fun! I am now 27 weeks and officially in the third trimester. I would think going through 7 complete pregnancies I would be used to this by now, (lol).

 

Please pray for me and my poor family who deals so graciously (or not )with these hormonal episodes. I know it is all forgotten and worth it in the end but for now it stinks.

Create In me a Clean Heart

 I was blessed to receive a beautiful changing table and matching cradle. It is so wonderful when God provides for our needs. I have love seeing things come together for a new baby's arrival.

 

 I was going to fix up that dressed I found on the side of the road but noticed it had
a mold issue, no thanks. Back on the curb it went.  I guess I should of listenend to the kids on that one. It was too dark to see and they didn't really want to put it in the van anyway.  The things they put up with. I am sure they will have stories to tell their kids about their mom who made them help her pick up roadside finds (lol).

 
 I have my second ultrasound Monday,please pray for baby Malcolm. They will check his heart again to see if the calcium deposit is still there. I also have to go for a blood pressure re-check. Every time I go to the office it is up. I think it is White-Coat Syndrome because when I check it at home it is always good.

 
  I just love these boy colors browns, blues soft greens and more. Cute little prints of puppy dogs, giraffes,and elephants are on the soft cotton blankets. After so much purple and pink it is a nice change.  It is so funny to think this could all be so new after having so many children, but God has given me a new heart, one that is full of love for this new little life. A love that  spreads to each other child living and in Heaven that  we have been blessed with.

 God's love intensifies with each child. Yes, it is a lot of work. Yes, it can get hectic at times but when I sit back and allow God to work His miracles I get a feeling of Heaven on Earth. Looking into the cradle helps me to anticipate and open myself up to the new life God has created in me.

 O Lord, create in me a clean heart and renew the right spirit within me.

Advent/ A Coming

 I love the Advent season, a time to prepare for the coming of the Lord. A time to remember the first time Christ came to us as a babe in a manger, a time  for us to repair and receive His coming into our hearts, and a time to when He will come again in His glory!                  

 

 
  I enjoy the season of advent even more so when expecting the coming of a new baby.  There are so many things that can be done that remind me to get ready, to clean out and to fix up my home and my soul. Here are a few of the preparations that have been taking place.

 
 I have been working on this quilt for baby Malcolm's crib, it is made from old sheets and curtains purchased from the Good Will. Jesus always inspires His people to take old habits that may not be good for them and to replace them with something new.

 
 This roadside find will be renewed and made into a changing station for lil' one. It is going to take some scrubbing, and cleansing but I am confident it will be a new creation with a bit of hard work. Jesus wants to make His people into new creations. Sometimes it takes hard work and a bit of repairing but in the end it will be worth it!

 
 Washing and folding fresh smelling tiny clothes and getting toiletries for baby is my favorite part of the waiting process. Jesus wants to cleanse His people as they wait in joyful hope. He wants to make His people all shiny and new in Him.

 

 Filling up the baskets and bins with pj's, socks, receiving blankets, etc. gives me a sense of peace and security that all is coming together for the precious gift of life.  Jesus wants to fill and clothe His people with love and goodness to give them His serenity. He is the most precious gift of all!

 
 Advent is such an exciting time! Our whole lives are meant to be spent in preparation, to become a people well disposed for the coming of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

 
 I hope everyone has a beautiful time of making ready, a time of becoming open to receive new gifts and a new life in Jesus, the one who has prepared a special place for all of us!

 

Making Room for Malcolm

 I am always surprised at how much space can become available in a home when the necessity arises. Since, baby is a boy he will eventually go in the boy's room. I never like to wait until the last minute to organize for a new baby because I have been up on bed rest at the end of more than one pregnancy.

 I started this afternoon to go in the boys room to see what was available for rearrangememt. I was thrilled when I noticed some waisted space on the left side of their dresser. There was a small table with their x-box game on it that was just begging to be moved.

 

 The boys helped me move the large bookcase to that spot and another similiar bookcase from downstairs that really wasn't being used. We ended up with what looked like a wall unit.

 
 The right side bookcase will be for Malcolm's items diapers, baby cream, onsies recieving blankets, nighties and all of those cute soft and sweet baby things. I already had the storage bins, the boys decided to part with their stuffed animals and army guys so I can use them for clothes etc.

 
 This  empty wall was where the big bookcase was but now it is freed up for the crib. I will put a shelf and some simple decor above it. I want to make one of those pendant garland with baby boy's name on it.

 
 The bunks are still in the same spot across from the wall unit, I was grateful we didn't have to move them. The boys were so excited and willing to help make room for lil' bro I didn't even have to yell at them to help with the room re-do. I hope this will motivate them more to pick up their clothes off the floor of keep their dirty socks out of the toy bins( lol ). Hopefully they will teach "M" some good room keeping skills, ya think?

Window Into the Womb

Today was a special day! The kiddos,  grandma and I started off the day with confession and Mass. What a great and peaceful gift God gives us through His sacraments.

 Later, DH picked me up and off we went for our 19 week level two ultrasound. We finally got to see our newest family member:

 
Here is a profile picture, isn't this a great shot!

 
This is a cute lil' foot picture. I always giggle seeing these pictures, what a blessing it is to get to see these  miracles of life.

 
And here is a picture telling us, It's a boy!! His name will be Malcolm Marvin Coleman. The boys picked out the middle name.

DH had a big smile on his face and said, "it is just like having my first son all over again."

The ultasound did detect a small calcium deposit on the left side of his heart which can be detected in babies with Down Syndrome. There is usually a 1 % a chance this is the case but if you are over 35 it is doubled to 2%. There were no other indication of Down's but they still want to do another utrasound on lil' Malcolm's heart in 4 weeks, Dec 20th. Please pray for our guy. I am not that concerned about this and God is in control whatever the outcome we are excited to get to know more about our precious baby are ready to welcome him when he arrives with hugs and kisses!

 

 

Feeling Blessed

 I went to my OB appointment on Wednesday and everything went well. I got to hear the baby's heart beat which sounded regular and strong, it was like music to my ears. I am now 18 weeks and have an ultrasound scheduled for Nov. 22. I can't wait to see our little one and find out if we have a boy or girl.

During school on Friday, I had agreat sense of feeling blessed. Sometimes when I go through a stormy time it is hard for me to focus on the good stuff. Here are some of the gifts God allowed me to see:

 
Raphael basking in the sunshine while doing his school,

 
a beautiful bittersweet vine on the side of our driveway,

 
a faithful, rusty old wagon that has many functions, work and play,

 
a silly lil' two year old, who wants ponytails like her sisters,

 
a blazing red maple in our neighbors yard,

 
and getting to homeschool  and enjoy funny poems and moments with my children.

 I'm thankful to God for allowing me to be able to know that without Him I could do nothing. I can feel overwhelmed at times but then He reminds me it is just a season. I am greatful that He brings me through when my faith isn't even the size of a mustard seed and I want to throw in the towel.

Many blessings to all of you!

A Small Project

 I have been looking for ideas on how to better organize the things I am going to need and use for the baby. Since, there is no specific nursery room. I will fit a special space in the girls room for now. Even if it is a boy, I want to utilize the girls room since it is the one that is kept neater.

I will get another plain white bookcase to put right next to the existing one. I want it to resemble something like this from Pottery Barn Kids:

 I really like the baskets but they are a bit pricey for me. I came across the idea of covering some diaper boxes and gave it a try to see how they would come out. I was pleased with the results.

Before:

 

After:

 

 I padded the outside with some batting and used a thrift store sheet to cover the box. I didn't do any sewing; I used Aleene's Tacky Glue which is super strong. I didn't cover the inside but on the ones for the baby's things I will.

 
 I like how these boxes hide the unsightly clutter. I was so excited that I had enough energy to actually do a project! I think I will try to get some kind of soft green checkered or polka dots fabric to cover the ones for baby.