A New Springtime

Glory to God, A Miracle!

 Yesterday, we took Malcolm to the pediatric cardiologist again and we received some  wonderful news. After 45 minutes or more on the ultrasound the doctor looked 
at the images and could not find the hole that had been there previously. He said, " I wonder if I was seeing things last time?" He said he can't say the hole is there and he can't say that it isn't. He doesn't see any flow of blood crossing the chambers.

On Holy Thursday, our family prayed the rosary and DH asked Jesus for a healing for Malcolm.

On Good Friday, at 3'oclock the Hour of Mercy, the kids and I prayed the Divine Mercy  Chaplet and asked Jesus to heal Malcolm's heart.  I thank everyone for all of your prayers as well.  They have been answered. We have to go back in one month to check it out again but all looks well!

 

                                  

                       

  I give all glory to God through the intercession of Saint Andre Bessete who always tells us to go to St. Joseph, who always leads us to the Blessed Mother, who in turn leads us to her Merciful Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ!

Jesus, I trust in You!

New Beginnings

There are so many chances in life for new beginnings. The beauty of the spring flowers are so awesome! The daffodils are trumpeting in a season abundant with color and warmth.

 
I am starting to understand further and deeper the meaning of love. Each day I fall deeper and deeper in love with my beautiful children, my husband and my Lord Jesus Christ. 

 

Each time I look upon this precious lil'face I begin to wonder and ponder God's gift of life. Life is so divine and I want to savor each of its moments. I have been praying to be worthy of this baby and to be able to be a better mother to him and the rest of my children.

 
I am overwhelmed by the  sweetness that surrounds me, the very natural things that give me comfort and joy!  The outdoors, the fresh air, the sunshine and the sleepiness and peaceful look of a newborn baby fill my heart and senses to the brim.

 
The newness of having a baby with Down Syndrome has opened up a whole new world for me. It is an opportunity to learn and explore many new things. I have been searching and looking around for other websites and information and I am always amazed reading and seeing other peoples stories and blogs.

 
I think my kiddos are learning a lot, too. Most importantly they are soaking up the importance of how to care for and love a wonderful new life. They do not see any differences in Malcolm. They see mommy taking care of, carrying and nursing another member of the family. Eliana wanted a sling for her baby today and she was doing her mommy thing, too. 

Life is so full of surpises and changes, just as the winter turns into spring and new life comes to the surface, God has new and wonderful things to share with us. As he gives us the gift of one another we can learn and be blessed each day!
 

Easter Fun

 
Yesterday, we started the day by going to Mass and after that the kiddos dug into their Easter baskets.

 
 

Hannah really wanted to have an Easter egg hunt so Raphael decided to hide the eggs for the younger ones. He did a good job and was careful to leave some where Lil' Eliana could find them.

 

I just love the pastel colors of Easter and spring, the wonders of wicker baskets filled with candy and all kinds of goodies as a treat for fasting during lent.

 
 There are so many secret hiding places in the spring yard which is beginning to come alive. Behind a lily plant that is beginning to come up...

 
in an old target used for archery practice...

 
in an old cart, or under a fallen branch. No matter where they have been hidden the kids always seem to find every single one.

 
Before we settled down to eat dinner, which DH made, it was time to dye some eggs. Everyone took turns picking out their favorite colors and dipping the  white eggs in and having them magically come out red, green, yellow, orange or some other vibrant mixture.

We had a wonderful dinner DH made some steaks on the grill and some gigantic baked potatoes. We also had some pineapple chunks and fresh green beans. Hubby also made a delicious  Betty Crocker Red Velvet Cake and it turned out great!

After our tummies were full we settled down and watched a movie by that time it was late and we all decided it was time to turn in. It was a day full of love and Easter fun and we all felt abundantly blessed.
 

Good Friday

Last night we prayed the Sorrowful Mysteries in honor of Holy Thursday and today at three o'clock prayed the Divine Mercy and we read " The First Easter Story".

 
We didn't finish ready the whole story because I wantedto save the part of the Ressurectionfor Easter morning. We left the book on the dining room table open tothe page of the guarded tomb.

 
It has been a kind of quite day, not really much going on. Lil' Eliana decided to take a rest in the baby swing. What a silly girl!

 
We said a special prayer for our special lil'boy that the hole in his heart be miraculously closed.

 
He is so precious and peaceful and I thank God he is with us. I thank God for this Good Friday in which He gave His life for us so that we could have eternal life with Him in Heaven.

I hope everyone has a peaceful holy day and knows that God hears their prayers.

Enjoying the Moments

 Yesterday, we had a wonderful day. Hannah's Godmother came over to visit us and see Baby Malcolm. She brought some of her wonderful children one who is eleven and has Down Syndrome. She is a doll and she recited a poem to me that she had memorized. It was so good for me to see her. It gives me so much hope for my precious lil' tiger.

 

DH came home with  this adorable outfit. It is a gift from a friend he works he works with. We have been blessed with so many presents, prayers and support for Malcolm.

 

We are all enjoying taking turns holding him. We just can't get enough! I am truly learning to live in and enjoy each moment. Trying to give all my worries and expectations to our Lord, Jesus Christ.

 
Hannah was given some beads from her Godmother to make a pair of rosaries and that is what she did today. Abbey has been working on brushing her own hair and she has been doing quite well.
 
Eliana has been such a good sport and occupies herself by imitating big sister.

 
 Taking the time out just  to sit and relax can be so challenging but I think it is a much needed activity these days for our family. Lent is almost ended and these last few days are a good time for us to reflect on how much we have been blessed. A time to open our hearts and minds to God's love and mercy.

I am so thankful for my Catholic faith and all it has taught me and I know I have so much more to learn. I want to wish everyone a Holy Thursday and a Good Friday and may God's love be yours on these solemn days before Easter. Just as we see in the Crucifixion may God take all that may seem like a suffering and turn it into something beautiful. Enjoy every moment and know God is with us.

90% Not Allowed to Live

It has been quite tiring lately, Baby Malcolm likes to nurse and he likes to do it frequently. He also likes to be close to mom and knows when he is not, he pops up immediately. My own fault because I always want to be next to him, too.

 
He is just so darn cute and cuddly and I couldn't imagine not having him in my life. The sad part about his condition ( Down Syndrome) is that 90% of children who are diagnosed during pregnancy with DS are aborted.

 
These sweet precious children are not even given the chance to take their first breath.  Who is responsible for making mothers of children with  DS feel their  children are disposable and not worthy of being loved ? Is it the Ob/Gyns, the genetic counselors? I do not know because I chose to wait and see until my son was born. I'm glad it turned out that way because my heart fell deeper in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him.

 
Women are encouraged these days to be doctors, lawyers, astronauts, etc. , but we are counseled against our own feminine natures against being  protectors and nurturers of our own babies. Women are not by nature ones who have the mentality of, " survival  of the fittest"  and  it  is up to us stop this " culture of death".

 
Any job we take on in life is going to have its challenges, its ups and its downs and sometimes life can be frightening. Each child whether disabled or not can have health problems, learning problems, or die of some kind of illness. I think taking each day one at a time can solve a multitude of problems.

 

 
Remembering that we are all made in God's image and likeness is the focus that is needed to stop such an atrocity as abortion. How could society be so advanced and so barbaric at the same time. "Let the children come to me",Jesus said. I can't even  imagine being without Malcolm and yet 90% of women have been cheated out of their precious lil' ones.

Sometimes my mind gets in the way of my spirit and I start to worry about all these things that haven't even happened yet but then  I pray and ask God to help me reign in  my  imagination. I ask Him to help me live in the moment and not to be afraid and He pours out His love upon me and allows me to love as he does without condition. Without Him none of this would be possible.  I am so thankful for His protection and for Malcolm's, he is part of the 10% who was allowed to live.

 

Showered with Flowers

 
Since the arrival of lil' Malcolm I have been showered with flowers! I have them all on the dining room table and I just love looking at all the bright and beautiful colors.

 
DHgave me a dozen orange roses and they are opening so big and bold. They remind me of his boldness and how he handles things head on. I am starting to allow him to teach me some of his ways even though they are totally foreign to mine.

 
This soft yellow rose is from my mother and my girls. They hung out together  while I was in the in the hospital. It reminds me of their femininity and the warm glow that shines from within them all.

The spring basket is from a good friend of mine. The fragrance from the hyacinth was so sweet and the mini garden will be planted outside and I will think of my friend and her faithfulness and the time my lil' babe was born as it comes to life each spring. The other vase full of mixed flowers is from another friend. She has always been there form me after the birth of each of my children.

All of these bouquets remind me of the abundance of the love God has showered down upon my family through our precious family and friends.

 

The birth of this little guy has brought all of these flowers into our lives and I am sure he will continue to bring many new blessings to us as well. Everyone has been taking turns getting to snuggle with him and we just can't get enough.

 
Here is our flower yesterday, sound asleep and so content.

 
Here he is again today, once again asleep and content but just like a flower with its still
presence it gives off such an awesome powerful sight for the eyes to behold.

 

Ups and Down's( Down's Syndrome +)

Malcolm arrived at 8:02 a.m. by Cesarean section.

 
 

I was a nervous wreck and my blood pressure was up, it was 190/ 114.  After the spinal it came down quite a bit. The surgery went great and baby boy came into the world!

 
He weighed 6lbs. 2oz. ,not bad for 39 weeks gestation.

 
I was so thrilled when I finally got to see him. DH brought him over and we all took our first picture together.

 
The next day the kiddos came to see their precious new brother. The love they showered on him was incredible to witness.

 
I just love these moments, "family love"!

 
DH and I had some great bonding time in the hospital and Malcolm had his daddy bonding moments, too.

While we were  recouping in our room and I was nursing lil' guy I noticed he was having a lot of trouble latching on. I also noticed his eyes were a bit squinty. I began to question whether or not he may have Down's Syndrome. I mentioned it to the hospital pediatrician and he said they would run a test but we couldn't get the results until Monday.
DH thought he definitely had some of the characteristics, and for me it was a bit harder to tell, after all quite a few of our other children have had squinty eyes.

When Monday finally came we talked to another hospital pediatrician who was not afraid to talk to us about our precious special boy. He told us that he did suspect that he has Down's and that he saw certain signs of it also.  He noticed low muscle tone, trouble nursing, and the Simeon Crease on his hands (only has one line instead of two). He also did an EKG on his heart and it came back normal. 

Our results were still not in but it was time to check out. We would have to call our pediatrician when we got home. At about 2:30 p.m., I decided to give her a call and she gave us the results. They were positive. Little Malcolm has Down's. I began to cry and didn't even know why. I have an overwhelming love and attachment to this lil' guy and I see no difference in him than any one of my  other children. I guess it was just an emotional moment of adjustment.

 
Baby sister and I and the rest of the gang have been in our glory loving him and being loved by him. Eliana just can't get enough of cuddlin' up with him.

About 10 years ago, I would of been devastated by such news because I thought I had to live in a perfect world. I did not know God and how to trust in His will.There are many ups and downs in life and with this new diagnosis we (our family) feel very privaleged to be embarking on a new journey, a new path in our lives. We know this is going to be a great opportunity to learn so many knew things.

Thanks for all of your prayers for the surgery, all went great and I am recovering quite nicely.

Miracle Bubbles

                                        

 God has given me a great grace this afternoon, it is to be able to focus on the playfulness of my children and His love for me. Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in the working and the everyday nitty gritty , I forget to take time out to sit back and enjoy my blessings. 

  

I have been stressing due to the pregnancy/upcoming delivery, constant cleaning, etc.I am definitely the Martha, Martha in the bible. It felt so good to just sit outside and bask in God's love that he showered on me through my children and their fun activity.
 
 

 I just got myself out of the way (through everyones prayers) and got lost in the sweetness of the moment. This lil'face takes me to the throne of God and allows me to be in His presence. Sometimes I find it difficult to give myself a break because I don't work outside of the home. I really need to let that go!
 
I need to rejoice  and trust in my vocation without  always thinking I have to prove myself.  I just love seeing my childern explore the wonders of simplicity and become dazzled by something so insigificant as bubbles. I must of spent a couple of hours just enjoying them.

 
 I am going to hold on to this bubble blowin' afternoon tomorrow when I go to the hospital  for my c -section because it is proof that God is with me and he knows my exact needs at the exact time. I find peace and comfort knowing He has everything covered. Every birth experience I always see God conducting an orchestra and over-seeing every aspect of it, gently waiving His baton and  every instrument plays perfectly in sinc.

I am so thankful for this day and I have been blessed with this miracle of bubbles, who would of thought such and ordinary day could turn out to be so extordinary! Thanks to everyone who is praying your prayers are being answered. God bless all of you.

 

 

Jesus, I Trust In You

 Well, Friday will soon be upon us and I will be at the hospital at 6:00 a.m., my 5th c-section is scheduled for 7:30 a.m. I have been called brave but believe me I have no courage on my own accord. I can be nervous and anxious especially when it comes to medical procedures.

My DH told me this morning  because someone is courageous doesn't necessarily mean that they don't have fear but that they persevere through those fears. This has been my lot when it comes to being open to life and going through the difficulties of the last month of pregnancy and the surgeries. I am so thankful for the Lord's Divine Mercy!  In my weakness He is my strength. Please pray for us this week!